Defying Imposter Syndrome: Embracing the Defiant Imposter

In a recent Athena salon, Delida Costin—an accomplished legal executive, board member, leadership mentor, and thought leader—unpacked the nuances of imposter syndrome and offered a compelling call to action: don’t internalize the barriers, defy them.

January 27, 2025
By Athena Alliance

 

The Dual Nature of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome often feels deeply personal, but Delida emphasized that it’s not always about internal doubt. “I don’t have a syndrome,” she explained. “I live in a system of checks and balances designed to stop people like me from moving forward. The trick is not to internalize it, but to defy it.”

Rather than seeing imposter syndrome as purely self-imposed, reframe it as a reflection of systemic obstacles. Recognizing these external structures allows individuals to shift from self-blame to proactive defiance.

Turning Red Lights Green: Stories of Defiance

Delida shared two pivotal moments that shaped her perspective on navigating systemic barriers:

  1. The Golf Club Incident: As a young associate at a law firm, her reward for hard work was a trip to a golf club. Upon arrival, she discovered women weren’t allowed on the green before noon. “That’s okay. I don’t know how to play golf anyway,” she said at the time, sitting by the pool while her male colleagues played. In hindsight, she saw this as a missed opportunity to challenge exclusionary norms.
  2. Clearing Dishes: After clearing dishes at the end of a meeting—a gesture rooted in being helpful—a senior female partner pulled her aside. “You’re a young Black woman in a firm that doesn’t hire people who look like you,” the partner told her. “If you clear dishes, you reinforce the belief that you don’t belong here as a lawyer. Your job is to break that perception.”

These moments sparked Delida’s commitment to asking a vital question: “How do I turn red lights green?”

From Syndrome to Strategy: The Defiant Imposter

Delida introduced the concept of the “defiant imposter”—someone who recognizes systemic barriers but refuses to be confined by them. To embrace the defiant imposter… 

  • Recognize the System: Imposter feelings are often justified by external structures, not personal inadequacy. Understanding this distinction is key to reframing the narrative.
  • Take Control: Focus on what you can change. Build relationships, pressure-test ideas, and confidently advocate for yourself.
  • Break Norms: Leaders, especially, have the power to rewrite the rules. Delida emphasized, “Be the one who says, ‘No one is playing golf today. Where else can we all go together?’”

Reclaiming Agency: Practical Steps

To reclaim agency and advance despite systemic barriers, consider the following actionable strategies:

  1. Stop Doing Others’ Work: Leadership requires letting go of tactical tasks and focusing on strategy.
  2. Learn the Language of Leadership: Whether in the boardroom or C-suite, learn the language of influence and use it to bring others along.
  3. Elevate Your Team: As you rise, bring your team with you. Claiming your space creates opportunities for everyone around you.

Defiance as a Lifelong Practice

Delida closed with an empowering reminder: “Defying imposter syndrome is lifelong work. The system may not change overnight, but we have the power to navigate it—for ourselves and for the generations that follow.”

By embracing the role of a defiant imposter, you not only claim your place at the table, but you also help build a more inclusive and equitable system for those who come after you.

 

About Delida Costin: With over 30 years of experience as a Chief Legal Officer, corporate secretary, investor, and board member, Delida has guided businesses through IPOs, emerging technology strategies, and organizational transformation. Her work emphasizes valuing people as much as profits and creating systems of accountability and impact.

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