By Shelly Lombard – Fortune 500 Board Director, QFE & Audit Chair, Founder of Schmooze

At 7:00 pm, I’d be sitting at my desk on the junk bond trading floor at my bank.

The guy who ran the department was a personable guy and a great dealmaker. He also happened to value what’s called “face time”. In other words, he wanted to see your face, at your desk, as much as possible. So, he’d walk around the trading floor in the evenings to see who was still working.

Hundreds of people reported to him. But even though I was new, he knew me by name. That’s because, after the bank that I worked for merged with his bank, everyone who was a vice president or above, was called into a meeting to get a team pep talk from him. Out of hundreds of employees in the room, I think I was the only woman of color in the entire room. So, when he saw me in the elevator or at my desk, he’d greet me with a big “Hi Shelly!” I’d smile; say hi; put my head down; and keep working. 

I am a shy introvert. I am also the first generation in my family to work in corporate America. My parents, who were both teachers, told me to go to college. Then when I got a job, it was understood that I would work hard and do impeccable work. Nobody ever mentioned the importance of networking and building relationships. With your peers. With senior people at your firm. With potential clients. With people in your industry.  And of course, no one told me how to do it either.

The top guy made it a point to try to connect with me. I just had no idea how to turn that into a relationship. His mentorship or sponsorship would have changed the trajectory of my career.

I founded Schmooze to encourage, coach, and help women to do what I didn’t do. Schmooze members have access to Mini Masterclasses on specific topics around building business relationships, like “Creating the Network You Need for the Role You Want” and “How to Build Your Network Inside Your Company”. 

Schmooze also hosts events like “Manicures, Massages, and Margaritas” and coffee or spirit tastings. Think of these as an alternative to the golf outings and sports tickets that men use to connect with each other. And that their companies pay for!

I interview women who have super successful careers and businesses, thanks to being intentional about building a strong network of business relationships. (The Schmooze newsletter is available on LinkedIn.) Here are a few things that I’ve learned from those women about initiating business relationships.

1. Curiosity is a relationship hack. Many of the women I interview talk about connecting with a senior person because they were curious enough to ask questions about the company, its goals, the projects that person’s department was working on, and what they could do in their own roles to add value. One woman was curious about a tech project that a senior person was working on. She invited him to coffee and spent the time asking him about the project. Their relationship developed organically. He ended up hiring her for her first tech job, even though she had no tech background! I could have connected with that senior junk bond guy by simply asking him about deals the bank was working on, which was his favorite topic.
2. Take every opportunity to meet and interact with people outside of your area of expertise or department. An interdepartmental project is a perfect chance to do that. I was the second in command in my department when my bank merged with the other bank. I should have made it my business to go meet and connect with the people in other departments that would now be interacting with mine. You need allies everywhere. As one woman I interviewed said, networking internally can help you keep your job. 
3. Become known for being a resource. I interviewed a woman who retired as a partner from an elite investment bank. Even though she was in a very small, niche department, she started sending out an email about trends in her world that impacted other departments. She built an amazing network. People asked her to join their client calls. She became a person who got tapped on the shoulder and offered new roles in the firm. 

Relationships close gaps between where you are in your career and where you want to be, whether that’s a promotion, new job, career pivot, or corporate board role. For great advice on building business relationships, subscribe to the Schmooze newsletter on LinkedIn. And become a Schmooze member to take our Mini Masterclasses, taught by truly excellent executive coaches, and to come to our virtual and IRL networking events.

Schmooze partners with Athena to offer free memberships for Athena members. Enjoy discounted rates on all events—bring a client, colleague, or contact to schmooze with! Email [email protected] for the discount code.