“Networking” is one of those words that can make even seasoned leaders wince. It conjures images of awkward intros, elevator pitches, and the quiet pressure to impress. But in a strong community—like Athena—the work doesn’t begin with earning permission to belong. It begins with the assumption that you already do.

Drawn from insights from an Athena salon with Shelly Morales and Coco Brown, the following is a warm, tactical playbook for using any community—whether a professional association, alumni group, or Slack workspace—to build genuine relationships that compound over time. No “schmoozing” required.

 

1. Start with Belonging: The “Friendship First” Mindset

Most “networking” advice starts with proving yourself before becoming friends. In community, flip that: assume friendship first.

Shelly’s signature opener is simple: “Hi, I’m Shelly. Let’s be friends.” It works because it skips the gatekeeping and fast-tracks trust. Coco echoes this: if you’re both in Athena, you’re already vetted. You don’t need to prove yourself—just be curious and kind.

Try this opener at your next event:
“We’re in the same community, so we’re already on the same team. What’s exciting for you right now?”

It shifts the focus from titles to energy.

 

2. Build a Rhythm, Not a Pipeline

Momentum comes from cadence, not scripts. Every 4–6 weeks, Shelly scans the community calendar for salons, roundtables, or events. She shows up consistently, shares a short intro, and DMs three to five new members to schedule a quick chat.

The goal is relationship-building—not transactions. Ironically, that’s why opportunities flow: consulting work, job leads, introductions, collaborations.

Try this: block 30 minutes monthly for a Community Scan & Outreach. In that window, pick two events, message three new people, and send two calendar links. Then stop. A little, often, is enough.

 

3. Capture Connections: Bump + Screenshot + Selfie + Text

Ever scrolled through your phone wondering who’s who? Adopt Shelly’s ritual:

1. Share contact info (NameDrop/QR).
   
2. Screenshot the contact card.
   
3. Snap a quick selfie together.
   
4. Text immediately: “Loved meeting you at the Athena salon—here’s our pic so we remember. Up for a 20-min chat next week?”

 

This bundles name, face, and context in one move. And treat contact info as privilege: always get permission before sharing.

 

4. Keep Notes Light and Useful

Relationships fade when memory does. The fix is a simple system you’ll actually use:

• Trello/Notion cards: quick facts and follow-up checklist.
  
• Plain notes app: one note per person, updated after each touchpoint.
  
• Monthly review: skim notes and nudge dormant threads.

 

You don’t need a CRM—just a small memory palace for generosity. Bonus hack: can’t recall where you met? Check the LinkedIn connection date against your calendar.

 

5. Offer First, Then Ask

Many of us love helping, but stumble when asking. Shelly’s flow:

• Lead with help: “What are you working on, and how can I support you?”
• When you need something, start with advice. People lean in when invited to share perspective, and advice often turns into action.

Coco adds: it’s fine to open with an ask—even cold—if you make it easy. Name the shared community, ghostwrite the intro, and be specific about timing.

Here’s a ready template:

Hi [Name]—we haven’t met, but we’re both Athena members. I’m exploring [focus/role/company] and noticed you’re connected to [person/company].

If you’re open, here’s a short note you could forward:
“[Contact Name], meet [Your Name], an Athena member I know. She’s working on [goal] and would value your perspective on [specific question].”

I’d love to reciprocate—what are you working on that I can amplify?

Respect time, reduce friction, and most people will say yes.

 

6. Curiosity Beats Over-Prep

Imposter feelings are normal, even for seasoned execs. Coco’s antidote: let curiosity out-muscle nerves. Ask questions that light people up:

• “What’s exciting you right now?”
  
• “What problem are you obsessed with?”
  
• “Who here would be a great match for you to meet?”
  

 

Don’t over-research before chats. A quick skim of someone’s profile is plenty—let curiosity guide the rest. The magic is in listening and connecting dots.

 

7. Embrace Vulnerability, Manage the Nerves

Walking into a room of strangers feels vulnerable. Two low-tech tools help:

• Mantra: “You belong.” Repeat it on the way in.
  
• Anchor: Shelly carries a small palm stone to squeeze when adrenaline spikes.
  

 

Remember: most people feel the same. Two thoughtful questions and a genuine smile quiet the nerves.

 

8. Choose Your Channels Wisely

Slack, LinkedIn, WhatsApp—they can get noisy. The salon consensus:

• Pick two channels to focus on; let the rest be ambient.
  
• When you see a request you can help with, raise your hand quickly. Even a casual “I might know someone” can turn into a hire.
  
• Leverage logistics: commute buddies from events often turn into deep friendships and collaborations.
  

 

Small, targeted moves beat trying to be everywhere.

 

9. Micro-Systems from Power Connectors

A few tiny systems expand your reach:

• Act immediately: send the intro text while still in the conversation.
  
• Monthly sweep: tag each person with one memorable hook.
  
• Rekindle dormant ties: once a year, scroll old contacts and nudge two people with: “You popped to mind because [reason]. Up for a quick catch-up?”

 

Small systems create big surface area for serendipity.

 

10. Proof That Community Collapses Distance

One Athena member reached out about a role at a large manufacturer. Within minutes, Coco spotted another member at the company, looped in the right advisors, and made the intro.

That’s not luck—it’s the one-degree effect of community. Always name your shared membership in outreach: “We’re both Athena members.” It accelerates trust.

 

Community thrives when we treat belonging as the starting point, not the reward. Every small gesture of curiosity, generosity, and follow-through strengthens the fabric that holds us together. When we choose friendship first, what we build isn’t just a network—it’s a living support system that carries us forward in our work and in our lives.

Above all, remember Shelly’s headline: “Let’s be friends.” It’s not naïve; it’s a practiced choice. Make rooms warmer, asks easier, and results better—and momentum will follow.