Happiness is an Inside Job with Liz Tinkham

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Liz Tinkham
you know, I think being successful is being happy number one, and being content with yourself. So and I think it’s looking at yourself and thinking, Okay, what do I do well, or what gifts do I have? And, you know, have I used them to further my happiness

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Hello and welcome to Voices of Athena, a podcast highlighting some of the most successful women in business. I am your host, Priscilla Brenenstuhl. It has been said, in a number of different ways, that those who tell the stories rule society. I’m interested in exploring the narrative and the narrators of leaders to see what stories are being told and how they are effecting change in our society. We are kicking off season 2 with Liz Tinkham, a fellow podcast host, board director, professor and retired Senior Managing Director for Accenture, a leading global professional services company.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
I would start by asking you, Liz, how you would describe yourself. You know,

Liz Tinkham
I would say pretty much happy all the time, which is good, outgoing and curious. So I’m curious about people. And I’m curious about the world in general. So I’d love to travel, because I’d love to see what else is out there.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Do you have any favorite places you visited?

Liz Tinkham
Oh, my goodness, so many. But I’ve been I’ve been really blessed because I’ve been pretty much not everywhere in the world. But like a lot of places. I loved Vietnam. I went to Vietnam probably 15 years ago, and I thought it was just beautiful. More recently, I was in Scotland, we hiked the West Highland way. And it was it was magical. So you know, I think anywhere. I live, we live in Seattle. And I think Seattle is absolutely beautiful. As a matter of fact, I think the San Juan Islands off the coast of Seattle are probably one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Yeah, spend some time there as well. And I wouldn’t disagree. What are you most excited and curious about these days? Oh, golly. You know,

Liz Tinkham
I’d like to see what my kids are doing. So I have three adult children. And, you know, following sort of the threads that they’re pursuing, and you know, sort of thinking through what they’re doing or where they’re going is always interesting to me, because it’s, it’s so much different than maybe what I would do. So I find that is sort of fun and funny in a lot of ways. You know, I’m really focused on sort of the next decade, trying to maximize my ability to do physical things as I age. So hiking in all parts of the world skiing, biking, whatever I can do, because I’m looking at sort of a clock in front of me thinking, Yeah, you know, in 20 years, I don’t think you’ll be, say, able to hike the Dolomites. Right. So maybe if you want to hike the Dolomites, you want to might want to do them this year. So that’s kind of where my head is right now.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Sure, and how my hiking the Dolomites set you up for in 20 years still being able maybe not to hike the Dolomites, but to hike?

Liz Tinkham
Yeah, yeah. So I think, you know, I’m fortunate enough to have time to do those kinds of things at this point, but sort of this part of my life is really about maximizing sort of my health while I still have it, which I intend to have for a long time. But there’s a lot of things I still want to do.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
I am interested if you, if you feel called to share, like maybe something that just sticks out that you you said that your your children want to do but that you like, would not want to do.

Liz Tinkham
Oh, you my older son is obsessed with starting a food truck right now. And in addition to his job, and it’s funny to listen to him, Well, first of all, he’s, you know, he’s a smart kid. So he’s, you know, laying it out in a business model and a plan and all that and, and I see where he’s headed, and I and I know what he wants to cook with his girlfriend, who’s Portuguese and I, you know, this fabulous food. But for the life of me, I’m like, you really want to sit in a truck. And you know, search two people in a truck. And you’ve never worked in a restaurant, but good for you, right for pursuing this and thinking it through. And again, it’s just something that’d be so far from what I would want to do. But I find it, you know, intellectually curious, so to speak with him and his girlfriend and talking through it with both of them.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Yeah, I mean, I find it curious to Oh, especially as I think about who might might motivate someone, and for some, it might be actually cooking, but if that’s not something he’s has experienced, and then it’s, you know, how often that we want the dream of creating an atmosphere, or creating an experience or being in the vibe.

Liz Tinkham
I think he wants to create some independence, you know, job wise, and to be able to highlight the food that his girlfriend cooks. So she’s a very good cook, like exceptionally good. And he wants to share it sort of with everyone. So I think it’s kind of an interesting idea. I think it’s just as I think about that industry. It’s just hard. And it’s a lot of work. So and it’s cute, because he wants his brother to help him which is younger brother, which it’s almost like, well, what would you do? And I’m thinking, Oh, he’d probably have him washing all the dishes. But, you know, the two of them can sort that out, right?

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Yeah, I love that. It’s, you know, it’s like using the resources around you, though. He’s truly the first girlfriend. He’s including his brother. It’s like a whole community affair. Pretty cool.

Liz Tinkham
Going, we’ll be called in for, you know, shift work at the farmers market or

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
something grand opening would leave. Yeah, totally helping run the grand opening, that’ll be part of your your third act that you weren’t. And

Liz Tinkham
he’s a natural born salesman, so I’m sure he’ll do fine. But I’m like, how are you going to do that and work full time. But that you know, that’s what you do when you’re young? So?

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Oh, absolutely. And you have energy, that sure isn’t a bounce. So do it now, like you can exist back there. So as we’re talking about maybe one of his first ventures and as I mentioned, third act, which is the hudco podcast that you host, a wonderful podcast that you host and looking into people’s totally looking into people’s future endeavors. I’d like to know a little bit about your past endeavors. What’s your first job?

Liz Tinkham
Oh, my goodness, well, outside of babysitting, before I turned 16, I worked at our local grocery store. And the grocery store had a bakery in it that was outsourced to a third party. So they brought in some of the bread and things like that it was sort of run by a third party. So I worked inside that bakery, in the grocery store. And it was it was a dirty job. So because I went in after school, and I cleaned up after the baker, so there was a guy who was there who was making like Angel Food cakes and doughnuts, and you know, you name it. And I would go in and you know, have to clean it all up between four and eight when the store closed. So it entailed, you know, scraping out the angel food cake pans and using a scraper on the floor and scraping up all the dough and and then I kind of graduated two Sundays, I was allowed to make the donuts, which was a lot more but I came home and I smelled, you know, just horrible, like, you know, hot oil. So anyway, but it was fun. And then I then I also got to work at other parts of the grocery, the meat department, which was gross. And then finally to the you know, sort of the cashier station, so you know, it was a lot of fun. It was a good place to work.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
What song are you singing at karaoke? Um, well,

Liz Tinkham
I think the song that I might try and sing the most is the joke by Brandy Carlyle. Do you know the song?

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Holy cow. Yes. And oh my gosh, who looked at it? I think it was Maria colocar show she does the the the women in wealth series. She had the same song.

Liz Tinkham
Oh, you’re kidding. Well, that’s a little fun. Yeah, that’s

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
wild is because branded Carla. Yeah, it’s a fantastic, fantastic. But

Liz Tinkham
she’s from around here. She’s from a state of Washington. And her voice is so exceptional. I mean, I can’t even come close. But you know, occasionally in the shower or whatever. I’ll try and build it out. Or if I’m alone in the house and have it on, I’ll sing along with it. But, you know, she hits those high notes and mine just cracks. So but it’s still fun to sing to me both. Yeah, that’s fun to sing.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
I don’t know that. microwatt the microphone, you have those making me think otherwise, I need your voice is like romancing me right now. I’m on it. So much.

Liz Tinkham
Thank you. It’s my morning voice anymore.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Yeah. What is your biggest fear? Um, my biggest

Liz Tinkham
fear? Oh, well, since I’ve had kids, I mean, obviously, that something would happen to them. I think that’s my biggest fear. I mean, it’s not something I’m thinking about all the time. But if, if there’s ever a situation where they, you know, if I perceive any sort of danger, and I mean, including my youngest son, who still lives with us, you know, being out late, you know, just comes creeping back in, you know, all the horrible things that could happen to them and how devastating that would be. So, I mean, it’s not, it’s not something that sits in my head all the time, but that would probably be my biggest fear. And I don’t think most parents have that same one.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Yeah, from one mother to another. I definitely, yeah. See how, yeah, how it changes and how your fear changes and priorities change when you become a mother. And that’s really something that stood out to me and all of these interviews is anyone who has children, like they make their way into the conversation, they do, and they dominate your life and completely change your trajectory.

Liz Tinkham
You can think about all the things that could happen to yourself, and you’re like, Oh, well, that, that’d be fine to me. As long as that doesn’t happen to my kids. Right away,

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
even when they’re sick. I’m like, why can’t it be me? Like,

Liz Tinkham
any of it, right? And you have littler ones, right? So when they get sick, it’s just so awful, because they just look, you know, it’s just you can’t do anything. But I have adult ones now. And you know, the issues are bigger in some ways, right? And so you fear you know, you know, what could happen and you just, you know, fear for so many different things, somebody will pick their heart or you know, they’ll lose their job or they’ll get a car accident, you know, there’s things that you know, could happen. But fortunately, I don’t spend my days dwelling on it.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Yeah, it would be quite paralyzing. If you do it, wouldn’t it be so so anyway, so not that that’s not an amazing answer? And so true, even for me
Priscilla Brenenstuhl
but just in a quest to get, you know, to know you on, Liz, the person outside of was the mother, what how do you think you would answer that question differently if your children were not a factor?

Liz Tinkham
Oh, what’s my biggest fear? Personally?
you know, I think I worried that I’ve had such a good life, that it’s all going to, like, something’s gonna happen, that will, that will make it go away without me having anything to do with it. So, you know, I think about the Holocaust. And I think about Jewish citizens who were my age, living, fine life, and then all of a sudden, you know, it went away. Right. And, and that’s, you know, it’s not inconceivable that something like that could happen again, in a lifetime. Right? And I don’t, you know, I’m not saying that there’s something out there immediately. But I think you always have to be thinking, you know, I try and think about how fortunate I am to have the life I have and where I live and everything like that and to be active in trying to make sure things stay correct. And the, you know, the right, you know, that, that, that I’m acting the right way that citizens are acting the right way, et cetera. But you just, you know, there’s so many things or your Ukrainian, right, you’re living in her cave, and you get bombed. I mean, it’s just exactly what I thought. Yeah, you know, there’s just so many things that are out of your control. And, and not to get into some big geopolitical conversation. But, you know, if I live another 30-35 years, I mean, there’s, there’s a lot out there that’s brewing. And if it’s not for me, for my kids, right, so I’ll stop with my kids. But it does make me worried because, again, it’s been, you know, I’m 61. So 61 years of, you know, relative calm peace, and everything’s good. And I hope it, you know, I’m fortunate enough to have that continue. And again, it’s not something that I think about all the time, but I do, I, I try not to take what I have for granted, and I’m sure I do. But, you know, as I think about it, I’m like, Oh, that was you know, that would really be bad, it’d be so much worse to go from having everything and losing everything than having nothing and getting older in life. Right. So yeah,

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
absolutely. Part of the gratitude is reflecting on what it would be like if you don’t have what you’re grateful for. Exactly. And also, knowing that it comes quickly, I think things you know, disaster, like, you know, a bomb or car accident, you know, they they don’t often come with warning, right? Yeah,

Liz Tinkham
yeah. health risks, all that. And, and again, you know, even with a health risk, I don’t worry about that so much, because that’s something that’s me and in control, but just, I just sometimes worry that people, I mean, that, you know, that maybe I’m taking things, too for granted. And, you know, what, sort of around the corner and that I could be doing something about now to prevent what could happen in 10 years or five years. So
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Priscilla Brenenstuhl
What has been your greatest challenge thus far?
Liz Tinkham
Huh? You mean in life? Yeah. Um, I think my greatest challenge is being a wife and mother, to be honest with you. You know, I’ve been married for 35 years, and I have three children. And I think that sustaining those relationships is very challenging. It’s difficult, it’s good, you know, because I love is there a lot of love there. But really, it’s constant work. And I think any, you know, and anybody on the phone would know. And so it’s challenging because, like, with my husband life, you know, life certainly has changed quite a bit from when we got married. And, you know, there’s been ups and downs and sort of working through all that is challenging. And then, you know, as I’ve mentioned, my kids, you know, they all have their own minds, fortunately. And they’ve done all kinds of things that maybe I wouldn’t have, you know, predicted or wanted, or cetera. And, anyway, they’re fine. But, you know, just sort of working through that with them. And there’s just so many days where you just don’t want to write, you’re too tired, he’s, you know, kind of want to give up and just go, you know, I’d rather crawl into a hole or go to a hotel or more

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
falls to the earth, some of

Liz Tinkham
you know, so like, I’ve had a lot of challenges at work, or, you know, health risks or health challenges. But those are sort of transactional. And, you know, with relationships, they’re there your whole life. And fortunately, they aren’t right. So

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
yeah, I would say it’s because you care so deeply about them, and you want them to be successful. And the idea that it’s within your control to make them successful. So the fact that if they aren’t successful, then you also got to look at yourself. And you know, the more that I work, that I that I show up to my relationship with my husband, it’s the more that I have to do internal work, a lot of times self reflect, oh, God, why did I snap at that? Why do I feel so sensitive about this? And that in and of itself, like turning the microscope on me and my behaviors and my patterns, and calling myself out can be really grueling?

Liz Tinkham
Yeah. And I don’t think we talk about it enough, because I just don’t, I don’t think that there’s enough discussion about you know, how to stay in a relationship for a long, long, long time, and people getting older, so even longer, and, you know, working through all the different issues and, and then it’s okay for things not to work out for a while, right. And you just don’t you just don’t hear that much discussion about it. So you tend to hear more about people who get divorced, and why or whatever. But you don’t necessarily hear the stories about people who are working through something difficult have made it out the other side, and they keep going right? Sometimes Great. Did you ever see ever saying the marriage story with Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver? Yeah, I did. I kind of forgot about that. And my friends were too they were like we did they should call that divorce story. That wasn’t a marriage.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
I wholeheartedly agree. Well, I think it’s also just rewriting the narrative to around like marriages, you know, marriages don’t have to last forever. And these kinds of things. And I’m divorced, I married my high school sweetheart, we were together for 10 years. And, and I don’t have regrets leaving that relationship behind. However, that doesn’t make me any less devoted to the relationship I have. Now. I actually just like, had no idea who I was or what love was, or when I first made that commitment. And, and yeah, my real my relationship to myself has changed and my understanding of commitment, and just what you said that actually, like, if we’re talking truthful about it, there gonna be a lot of shitty days.

Liz Tinkham
Yeah. Yeah, like, gym days. And yeah, and you know, how do you figure out how to get through all that? And? Yeah, so that would be, probably to me, if I look at the course of my life, that’s been the most challenging thing I’ve had to do.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Yeah. Yeah, I think like you said, because it’s one of the most important things most important,

Liz Tinkham and most rewarding, but on both sides, right. So it’s the most rewarding, and it’s the most challenging Woodley probably for those reasons, right? In getting exactly what you get, right?

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
They go hand in hand.
What does it mean to be successful? How would you define it?

Liz Tinkham
Hmm, for me, or for in general?

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Both or whichever you’re called to do? Well,

Liz Tinkham
you know, I think being successful is being happy number one, and being content with yourself. So and I think it’s looking at yourself and thinking, Okay, what do I do well, or what gifts do I have? And, you know, have I used them to further my happiness Right. So, and that can be along any line. So, if you’re a great mom, and you know, it’s you don’t work outside of the home, but you’re a fabulous mom, and those are your gifts and you enjoy it, then you’re successful. If you’re, you know, really smart in math and science, and you go on to invent CRISPR something and you win a Nobel Prize, you’re successful. So I think it’s, in my mind, it’s, you know, you get, you’re sort of born with a set of gifts. And if you’re fortunate enough to, you know, to be helped to discover those as a kid in school and things like that, and you’re able to use those to their best ability, that’s what I consider to be successful.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
This, what were your What was your childhood, like?

Liz Tinkham
Oh, good, you know, very, pretty typical, Midwestern kid. So I live in, you know, grew up in Illinois, and Ohio, in the US, and middle class, and my parents. Both worked, so that was different than my mom worked. But that was really good for me, because it you know, it was a good role model. And they were involved in, you know, what, my I had one brother and sort of everything we were doing, and not in an overly bearing way, but, you know, go to our games and, you know, part of the PTA and all that other good stuff. So it was it really happy childhood. I mean, we didn’t, we certainly didn’t live lavishly, you know, we didn’t really go anywhere, but we, we had a nice place to live. And we went to good schools, and, you know, I’m better off than 99% of the world at the end, you know, in that regard. So, you know, I’m really lucky.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Please tell me about a life-changing or life-defining moment. Um,

Liz Tinkham
so I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 38. So I had I was pregnant with my third child will. And right after I delivered him, I had trouble breastfeeding him on my left breast. And so my obstetrician came in and looked at it and send up a breast surgeon. And she looked at and said, we’ll come in in a week, have a mammogram. And we’ll take a look at it. And so a week later, which was December 7 1999, you know, I’m in there and in the radiologist comes in and sort of like, slaps that gray white photo of my boob up on a chart and says, Is anybody here with you? And I saw my husband and my infant, because I had to bring him because I was breastfeeding. So we go and get him and she’s like, you have a massive tumor in your breast. And it’s probably breast cancer. And she sends me down to the pack to the surgeon, who then biopsies it and says, Yeah, you know, so anyway, so that was a very bad month. Fortunately, well was born in November. So this happened in December, so the month of November was fine, but so I had a mastectomy. And then I started chemotherapy. And, you know, it’s been 23 years. So God loves science. And, you know, thank God it’s it. It didn’t, didn’t metastasize or anything awful. But it certainly was life changing. And maybe I should explain how, because it’s probably not what most people think what happened is first, you know, made me much more cognizant of my health. So going back to the first answer that I gave, you know, when you’re 38 and nothing’s ever happened to you, you don’t think you’re going to be sick or have cancer and there was no history of cancer in my family. So it was just kind of a fluke.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
So yeah, we just had a baby which is like just had a baby right? So that’s life create.

Liz Tinkham
Yeah. Well, if you look at it, anybody who has any sort of cancerous stuff floating around and if you get pregnant, the estrogen especially breast cancer will usually fuel it up. So in some ways, you know, I was telling my son like he saved me because it it burst onto the scene. So, it can it would have just fomented for longer I think if if it if I hadn’t been pregnant, so at least we caught it. So made me start paying attention to my health more and being more of an advocate for my health and I’ve have had probably more than my fair share of health things happen to me and but they’ve all been resolved, which is good. The second thing is, I was just stunned, and in awe of the generosity and loyalty of my friends and neighbors, not that I didn’t think I had good friends. But what they did during this period was unbelievable. And it was so genuine. And, you know, I didn’t know. I mean, even though I’d lived in the same town for quite a while, because I worked all the time. It wasn’t that close to that many of my neighbors. And, you know, some of the moms from school were just, just saints, right? And they’re, you know, we all got to be closer through that experience. And then several of my really good friends, particularly from work, you know, they really, really did some nice things for me, you know, because I had a pretty big job. And so they kind of just started doing my job for me. But they didn’t, they pretended it was me, it was really kind of funny, because they knew my self esteem was going to take a hit. So they, they were really cognizant, they would call me and ask me questions. And you know, they kind of kept including me, which you may think that you don’t want to hear from work. But if you worked all the time, and your self esteem is defined by your job, the last thing you want is to be pushed out, right. So even though they didn’t really need me, they sort of faked that they did. Which was great. And they’re dear friends to this day. And then the third thing was, and, you know, this is sort of why it was so life changing. It really exposed the splinters in my marriage. And there had been something sort of simmering, between my husband and I, and this health thing, and having this cancer and the recovery from that. So say, after I was done with all of the chemotherapy, and everything was a really rough period in our marriage, really rough, the worst part of our whole 35 year marriage, and fortunately, we got through it. But it just, for whatever reason, I think that John had expectations of maybe how, how this health thing would change me maybe to be sort of more family focused and slowed down a little bit. And in because it was such a big self esteem hit, you know, the thing I wanted to do was just like, get back out there and prove I was still hold on, okay, and everything like that. And because you’re never thinking about those things, you don’t discuss it at all. And then all of a sudden, you’re, you know, this sort of opened up sort of this sort of hole. That was really hard, right. And it went on for a couple of years. But fortunately, we were able to repair it. And, you know, I think most when you think about a big health scare like that, I think most people would probably think your answer would be oh my gosh, I double down on family and really rethought my priorities about you know, and I did but in a different way. And it probably took a few years to sort of work all through that. And gosh, I never would have predicted that. So it really changed me. Yeah.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
I love that because Sure, double down on family, but I feel like as women, we’re always doubling down as mothers on family more than I mean, at least, you know. Most of the time, that’s the way that it plays out. And I think that part of doubling down on family, you can also look like doubling down on your own self care. And, like, leaning into who you are, and,
letting that be something that you share with your children or like let them see you in that you know, because I feel like as a mother it’s so easy to kind of put me in like put myself in the rearview mirror. Um, but I don’t want that to be the way that my kids remember me. Yeah. I want them to you know, see me being passionate and excited about life and trying new things and being Yeah, yeah, totally. And I think they want that too as much as they want are nurturing and be the center of attention at least when they’re young. You know, it benefits them for feeling good but I don’t thank you for sharing that story with me i i feel like there’s so much I could talk about particularly with your husband because I imagined that you know you have the it’s like the before and after Christ or something before and after cancer like I don’t know like, you know the your relationship before cancer then finding out you have cancer and How changes then and then after cancer and how it changes then. And each time, I imagine, just like you said, exposing the splinters, but more and more and more. It’s such a vulnerable time. And I feel like that’s often the time we need people the most. But because all of our vulnerabilities are exposed, it can, be the most challenging time

Liz Tinkham
and the splinter when you think about, you know, people that you need, the people, like, what I wanted was more people in my life, like, I loved the fact that people would come over and that there was, you know, that my friends, were there, my family and people from work, and just the more the merrier. And because I feed off people, and my husband really just wanted to wanted it to be him taking care of me, right. But of course, we didn’t have that discussion. We didn’t know that. So, you know, so after a year of all this, it just was, you know, you just don’t know what’s going on. Because you don’t, you don’t talk about it right. And

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
totally, or even have the tools maybe didn’t know until the after sites like, you know, there’s no manual on how to raise a child or wait, there’s 1000 books, but none of them matter. Because it’s your time, your child, your personality, what works for you. And the same is, is true for marriage, and especially when you’re going through something challenging like that. And, you know, I mean, how do you do cancer, right? I mean, like, what,

Liz Tinkham
there is no manual, right? But so, yeah, so that, that had a big, really big impact, that had lasting repercussions. Fortunately, for the good, but there were moments where I wasn’t quite sure they would be fortunately for the good. So

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
yeah. But again, that brings us back to the the challenges in the success kind of living hand in hand, or I don’t know if that’s exactly how you put it, but it’s those moments that kind of that test you and where you don’t know that it’s so good, that make you grateful, and you understand what it is good, and how much you have to lose and how far you’ve come and for me, have been some of the glue that keeps you know, instead of in my younger, less wiser years of marriage, although I definitely in the vein of thought the more I know, the more I know, I don’t know, anything. But I do feel pretty solid saying that, you know, when I reflect now on the biggest challenges in my marriage, overcoming them has given with my partner has given me has given us a foundation
has really laid the framework for a deeper commitment, and even more confidence in in us as a partnership. Yeah,

Liz Tinkham
I agree. I agree. And sometimes, you know, one thing that I learned was that sort of time, in some ways does heal wounds. And so there was, you know, there were, there’s probably a year or two where we barely were speaking to each other and, but we had three little kids and two jobs and probably a dog. And you know, we just had to keep going. And I think it did sort of time did start to sort of heal things, right? Because it allowed you to have the space to slowly start to talk about things. And honestly, it took a long time to figure out like, why are we so mad at each other? Right? And you know, yeah, you know, so

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
literally, because you have all that anger, and then suddenly you get further from it. And you’re like, Wait, what was the correct what was the basis of this? And then

Liz Tinkham
and then the whole thing like, What do you mean, you don’t like you don’t like having all these people helping? I mean, don’t we need that, you know, and just, why not? Like, that’s so weird. And you know, he’s Yeah, you need all these people around that so we’re gonna so yeah, you

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
don’t you don’t have the exact same worldview as me and the same needs.

Liz Tinkham
Here’s a funny thing. So this past January, as I said, I’ve had some health things I broke both my legs skiing, and

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
oh my god, yeah.

Liz Tinkham
So out a freak accident. And, you know, I’ve never broken anything. And in this case, we got we got we were in Canada, we get home and I’m like, You know what, I’ve learned my lesson. I’m just gonna let John take care of me now. People came over, but I just leaned into it. And that guy should be sainted. Like, was awesome. So, like, I practically had like a because I couldn’t I was in a wheelchair and I was sort of confined to my bedroom for six weeks. So, you know if I needed any food if I needed anything like, like, ring a bell or text him. And he did. Yeah, I

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
love that. I love like he stopped into nourishing you in that way. Maybe he felt like he couldn’t do that when there was other people around. Because

Liz Tinkham
in this case, I’m like, You know what, I’m not going to invite a lot of people over. I asked him if, you know, some people wanted to come over, bring dinner, and I’m like, What do you think? And he’d be like, we don’t need that. And I would just say no. So. And then at the end, I said, when I was up and about a little bit, I said, Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, that was such a hassle for you. And you know, that was so much work. And he’s like, Oh, I loved it.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
It is sweet, sweet for you, and sweet for him. And it’s like one of those things, right? I don’t want to go like you. But like, Oh, it’s great. You broke both your legs. Because that’s not at all what I’m saying. But like, it gave you an opportunity to really discover this form of intimacy and even allowing yourself to be cared for and then also to reflect back on it and not feel like a burden. But to feel like it was you allowing space for your husband to love you in a really deep and profound way. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that could be would be so heal. So healing on like a soul level.

Liz Tinkham
It was it was it was great. Love. The whole year. I’m like, you should be saying that he did such a good job.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Wow. And probably again, probably stronger than ever afterwards.

Liz Tinkham
Yeah, he was cute. I mean, it’s another friend of mine. She broke both her hands. And I mean, both freak accidents were comparing notes. Which is worse, and you know, whose husband did a better job and he had a harder duty because if you break your hands, just think that through you can’t do anything and like, oh my god, you know, least I could like scoot myself into the bathroom kind of thing. But appeal your own orange to my own orange. But you know, like, I couldn’t take a shower. You know, couldn’t wash myself. You know it just so but fortunately, that’s all behind me.

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Yeah, I’d say both are pretty, you know, I mean, at least she could go for a walk and clear her head

Liz Tinkham
down the stairs. I know. I can see

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
how this conversation would go. A lot of tit for tat and back. Yeah. Like, can you do this? Have you ever had someone have to pick

Liz Tinkham
your nose? Then? What did you do in that situation? Yeah, no. Yeah, we had a funny that was just so funny. When she told me I’m like, You gotta be kidding me. Oh, my gosh. Um,

Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Lisa, you’ve answered all my questions. Thank you. I pleasure. I want to know if there’s just like anything else that’s come up in the conversation or anything else that’s top of mind anything that you’d like to share that you’re thinking of? Because the conversation?

Liz Tinkham
No, no, thank you for having me. And for doing this on behalf of our listeners that Athena and I know, so many of us are in this sort of same situation. lifewise and I know that in the ones I’ve listened to, I’ve gotten a lot out of it. And I’d love you know, how you’re focusing sort of on people’s voices, and, you know, sort of their authentic, authentic selves and what they’ve gone through and I think it’s, you know, I believe that the older you get, the more you get drowned out by the younger voices and Tik Tok and this and that and again, there’s just so much to learn from people who have lived a little bit longer if you listen to him.
Priscilla Brenenstuhl
Thank you for sharing those sentiments. I also think the more successful you get professionally the less we hear about the personal story behind it everyone wants to know kind of your you know, business model your thought leadership. And while those things are fascinating to me, I feel like they they they come out in the personal and I too, I really appreciate you know, I mean podcasts and all forms are storytelling, but telling the story like in yours right the third act and you speaking about age like I’m still here and I still have passions and visions and I’m like and I’m and I’m and I’m around in a vivacious way.

Liz Tinkham
Yeah, and exploring and and it’s important and I’m so so yeah. I thank you for for for sharing that and thank you for your work that you thank you for interviewing me. Absolutely.
Music Insert
Thank you for tuning in. I am honored you’ve chosen to share your time with me. This is a bi-weekly podcast, airing every other Friday. On our next episode, we will be sharing a special interview from Liz’s very own Third Act podcast. I hope you’ll join us.

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